Memories
by lyricalemme
Summary: Zoe remembers falling in love with Wash...Zoe's POV... written for stagesoflove at lj
1. Attraction

I'm not really sure when I first knew. Maybe it was that first day, when I frisked him. The way he smirked at me when I was finished made me wish I hadn't.

The day he shaved off that gorram lip ferret was the day I knew for sure. I went up to the bridge and there he was with his dinosaurs. He turned at the sound of my footsteps and my breath caught in the chest.

"Something you wanted, Zoë?"

His question broke me from my thoughts which had been rapidly turning into day dreams. I prayed that he hadn't noticed. "Just checking on our course."

He looked a little disappointed but it had been hard to tell in the low lights. "About another three hours or so."

"Good. Wanna get this job over as fast as possible." Then I did something before I even thought about it: I smiled. He looked a little surprised. As I left the bridge, the woman in me wanted him to watch me go or call me back. I didn't turn to see if he was looking.

As I headed down to my bunk, a song my mother used to hum often around my father when I was very little and he was still alive came to mind. I shut the door and in the privacy of my bunk sang along to my mother humming in my mind.

"I've tried but I can't seem to get myself to think of anything but you."


	2. Romance

I remember our first date and how much effort he put into it. Kalyee had just joined the crew. she helped him make dinner and tried to make the bridge seem as romantic as possible. He had lit candles and brought an empty crate up as a table and covered it with a sheet. it was very sweet. He had even found some soft music on the cortex.

I did my best to look nice. I didn't have dress but Kaylee leant me a skirt. When I walked up to the bridge and saw him the flickering candle light, I was glad I wore the skirt. He had changed out of his usual flight jumper and Hawaiian shirt and into slacks and a simple button down. 

He walked over to me and took my hand, leading me to the table he had set up. He pulled out my chair for me and I smoothed my skirt as I sat. We ate and quietly chatted. When we had finished and had sampled some of Kaylee's moonshine, Wash got up and walked around to my side of the table. "Would you like to dance?" He looked hopefully at me as he extended his hand.

He was rewarded withy a smile as I placed my hand in his. He pulled me into his arms and twirled me gently around the bridge. There weren't many I would let lead me and part of me was surprised at how quickly I had let him into my heart.

I lay my head on his shoulder and he held me close. We swayed in place in time with the music. We stayed that way for a long time, just holding on to one another. When the night was over, he walked me back to my bunk and we stood there awkwardly for a moment. I leaned in and kissed him softly. "Thank you," I said softly as I pulled away and flicked my eyes from his mouth to his eyes. He smiled at me and I climbed down into my bunk, humming softly.

"You're breath on my face, your warm gentle kiss I taste the truth..."


	3. Passion

Falling in love is hard sometimes, but beautiful. Wash would make me laugh freely, I could be myself with him. It went slowly at first, jobs and injuries getting in the way ever now and then. I remember the first night we made love. We were on the bridge and our kissing was becoming more and more hungry, more desperate. I was sitting on his lap in the pilot's chair and he pulled back to look into my eyes. My eyes had to be telling him that I wanted him because the next word out of his mouth was "Where?"

I smiled at him. "My bunk." My hands slinked around him, pulling him in for another kiss. He scooped me up in his arms, much to my surprise. He carried me to my bunk and gently set me down. He was always so gentle with me and I loved him for it. But tonight, that wasn't what I was looking for. I pushed him against the bulkhead and kissed him roughly. His hands slid up the back of my shirt, pulling me closer to him. They were rough and sending shivers down my spine. I pulled back slowly, grinning wickedly, lips swollen from our kisses, and climbed down into my bunk.

He slid down behind me, pushing me against the wall, crushing my mouth once more with him. My hand fumbled behind me, finally finding the button to close and lock the door.

Passion and desire took over as he pulled away from my mouth long enough to pull my shirt over my head. My hands trembled slightly as I unbuttoned his. His mouth moved to my neck, nipping roughly at it as I slipped the shirt from his shoulders. One hand was around my back, crushing me to him, the other working the hooks of my bra. His fingers slide it from my shoulders, his hot mouth following the straps.

As I closed my eyes, head tilting back, he picked me up and laid me on the bed, mouth never leaving my skin. Slowly, cautiously, as though this moment could shatter like glass, we shed each other of the last barrier between us. Once it was gone and we both realized we weren't dreaming, his mouth returned to mine as two became one. He kissed down my jaw to my neck as I lost myself in the pleasure. Somewhere, deep in the back of my mind, a song played, one that told a story as a young woman I had always hoped to find, something I had hoped to find even through the war.

"And there's no where in the world I'd rather be than here in my room, dreaming with you..."


	4. Intimacy

Our most intimate moment wasn't in the bedroom. It was eight years since the Alliance had taken the one thing I treasured away from me. I hadn't spoken to anyone. I had gotten up before Wash and went to the cargo bay. The room may be large, but I could hide there. I sat behind a crate and thought about my mother.

As the tears fell from my eyes, I felt arms scoop me into someone's lap. I looked up at Wash as he held me to him. He rocked me gently as I sobbed into his chest.

We stayed that way for a long time, him holding me, letting me get my grief out. He continued to hold me long after my tears had dried. He had seen me without my clothes before but at that moment I was completely naked to him. All my emotions were out in the open, the mask of the warrior woman thrown aside, leaving the grieving daughter for all the world to see. He kissed the side of my head.

"Who was it, bao bei?"

"My mother," I said quietly. I curled up into a ball in his lap, making myself as small as possible. There was nothing to hide from him any longer.

Wash began to hum. With my ear pressed against his chest, I listened to the vibrations. Then I started to sing softly along, honoring my mother. I pulled back and looked into his eyes as I sang and I knew in that moment that I would marry this man.

"I once was lost, but now am found..."


	5. Commitment

When Wash asked me to marry him, I said yes. There was no hesitation. He picked me up and spun me about the galley. Kaylee could be heard claaping from just outside and Jayne grunted something.

The ceremony was simple. We found a Shephard on Persephone and Mal walked me down the aisle, trying to talk me out of it. Inara had lent me a cream colored dress that stopped Wash in his tracks. When I saw him standing to the Shephard, gaping at me, I turned to Mal. "Shut up, sir."

That night we lay in bed together, Wash's arms around me. We had been doing this for months but it felt different somehow. He kissed my shoulder and got up from the bed. I rolled over and propped myself up on my elbow. He came back over, hold a necklace made of leather cord.

I sat up. "I want you have this." 

"What is it?" I asked.

He smiled a me. "Made it for you. This cord was what my father gave me before he died. He told me to use it to tie myself to my future." He knelt down on the bed and I held my hair up as he clasped it around my neck.

♥♥♥

I sigh as I remember this. I feel blessed to have married Wash, to have met him. I lay back in bed, tired. It has been a long nine months, but here I am.

I smile aw Wash walks over to the bed, our daughter in his arms. He hands Mimi to me and tucks my body under his arm as he sits next to me.

"What are you thinking, bao bei?"

I turn and kiss his cheek. "Just remembering how we fell in love."

He smiles at me. "Good times." He kisses my head nad we look at our daughter, watching her sleep. I nestle closer to him and sigh happily.

"_You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.  
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.  
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.  
You raise me up to more than I can be."_

_♥♥♥_


End file.
